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  • Writer's pictureTammy Toney-Butler

Where to Next?

Where to next? A seemingly benign question, but for many, it is anything but that. When you are at your lowest, spiritually dead, broken, defeated, where can you go to get peace? One minute of respite from your dark thoughts? Everywhere you turn, obstacle, dead-end, disappointment? You look ahead but are carrying so much baggage from your past. Baggage that is so heavily weighted down by shame, fear, anger, regret. How did I get here? At this point in my life, where the darkness threatens to overtake me? When can I finally shed this weight that threatens to push me farther and farther down that broken road of despair? How old will I be when I get there, that place of peace? The one I had before he hurt me, they hurt me? My true self, the one I was always supposed to be before "it" Happened? Why did it happen? Why did God let it happen? Does anyone feel like this but me?

Yes, many feel this way each day as they walk alone on that boardwalk of past hurt and shame. I choose not to walk alone. I invited Christ into my life, and from that moment of surrender, I was set free, and you can be too! Often, we do not feel worthy of the love of Christ. We feel that total surrender, a requirement when we walk by faith and not by sight, is impossible. Yet, once you do, you will be set free from the power and control the weight of past sin has on your life. When you bury it at the foot of the cross, you become a person who has no shame, no fear, no anger, and a silent, inner critic. What will you choose? Will you invite Christ into your heart? True freedom, the way you were before "it" happened, lies in total surrender. Christ loves you, despite what you carry in your backpack of sin; let him set you free and carry that heavy load.

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