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  • Writer's pictureTammy Toney-Butler

What is she thinking?

What is she thinking?

How do I go on? How do I continue? So many counting on me? Why does it have to be this way? Where is God? I cried out to him repeatedly, yet here I am, grieving a loss yet again. How do I weather this storm? How do I get out of bed in the morning, pretend as if everything is great? I feel dead inside, no joy, no rest for my troubled soul. When will the darkness end? When will my heart be protected from so much hurt? Will my day ever come when I love without fear, trust without doubt, and find peace without my mind racing like a locomotive out of control?

Yes, that day will come! Yes, your mind will quiet! Yes, you will be whole! Do not let the avalanche of shame, guilt, fear, regret, and self-doubt overtake you; instead, fight your way out of that deep well of lies from the words of the past. Speak truth over your life from the promises of the creator, our eternal comforter. Reach for him even in the darkness, reach for him through the barrage of questions, reach for him to quiet your current storm in your life! You will be set free!

Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 8:21 (NIV)

That the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

Romans 10:9-11 (KJV)

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with thine heart, man believeth unto righteousness; with the mouth, confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.

Romans 8:38-39 (KJV)

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Consider surrender today, invite Christ into your mess, into your shame, into your guilt, into your heart, into your dying soul. Invite him in to help be your anchor as you weather the storm of life navigated by the lies of the past, chained by the old memories of past hurt and painful words; let him break the chain of childhood adversity and be your new chord of freedom as you sing a song and rejoice. Dare hope again, dare to try again, dare step out in faith. I did, and you also can walk by faith and not by sight! The choice is yours! It is so hard to give control and surrender to anyone after childhood trauma, childhood sexual assault, but you can do it! He is the one father that will never hurt you, the one love that will never be taken from you. Latch onto Christ and be transformed by the renewal of your mind and be made anew by his love. He believes in you! He loves you!

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