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  • Writer's pictureTammy Toney-Butler

My Soul Longs to be Free

True freedom lies at the foot of the cross at the moment we surrender all to Christ; our mess, our mistakes, our sin, our childhood trauma, our hurts. As we struggle to relinquish control and be controlled by our heavenly father, an eternal struggle exists between spirit and flesh. Do we follow the path of victimization? Do we dare hope of a better way? Longing for freedom, yet holding on to all of the past's emotions that defined us for so long and are embedded in our identity. How can we give up control? How can we trust anyone or anything that much to allow it in? An open the door to our soul. Yet, the moment we do, the holy spirit takes over, and a peace that defies all understanding fills our empty vessel. A peace that could never take hold when we were under the constant barrage of attacks from memories of the darkness that resides in a sin-soaked body. Controlled by darkness, yet longing to let the light in, but uncertain how to ignite the flame in our soul. Christ, the light, the caretaker of our soul, our eternal comforter. Do you dare let him in? Trust? The choice is yours to make. Find beauty in the darkness; it's there, buried under the sins of the past. The light is hidden under layers of shame, guilt, fear, regret. Let Christ be the one to peel off the layers of self-loathing and usher in eternal joy. It's possible, and it happened to me, let go and know that the creator awaits, ready to usher in a new day filled with promises of peace, love, joy, and a quiet mind. Surrender...

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